Thoughts

You should know that when I started writing this, I expected to succeed. I was much like anybody who starts a job with so much passion and ambition that they get so excited, they tell everybody. Everybody. But slowly that ambition started to ebb. My enthusiasm for this story just seemed to disappear. I knew where I wanted it to go. I knew what to write and how it was going to end. I could finish it.

…

The fear of success is not unusual. It is something that seems too big to be true and, until the moment where we realise what we have to do to achieve it, we think it’s easy. But it’s not. Success requires work. And maintaining it requires even more.

I am 115 pages into this. I wrote my first few pages in months yesterday and I felt sad that I couldn’t grasp that feeling I had when I started it. I didn’t feel excited about the prospect of finishing it. Because I knew that when I did, I’d still have to edit it ten times over. I’d still be rejected by publishers over and over until I found someone who liked it. And after that, it still might not even sell.

We are humans. We doubt ourselves and our talents and this manifests the fear of success. The fear to even try and attain it. But we should still try. Shouldn’t we?

…

I’ll try.